Friday, March 2, 2012

Starbucks Stakeout

I go to Starbucks a lot. I mean really, a lot. I go on a regular basis Monday thru Friday. And sometimes Saturday and Sunday. I have a bit of a problem. I buy a lot of coffee and spend a lot of money. Granted, I usually buy a boring cup of coffee and add some half and half in there, but that $1.95 per however many days a week I go (and sometimes weekends) tends to add up. And when I am feeling really crazy I may just buy a grande non-fat iced white mocha, no whip. Those suckers cost a whopping $4.00! And if I am really, really feeling crazy I will buy a pastry. A 900 million calorie pastry, give or take a few. I need an intervention.

Anyway, because I go to Starbucks too much I tend to run into the same people from day to day. I have even made friends with the baristas. We are such close, best friends now that they know my boring order by heart and I get smiley faces on my coffee cup (this was new today). Aside from the baristas, I see the same customers in my Starbucks everytime. Yes, my Starbucks. I spend enough money there, so it's mine.

Anyway, so these people I speak of, well, I have had some interesting morning experiences with them. There was a lady once who started talking about how she liked my outfit in line. It's early, so I usually don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to get my coffee and go. Well this old lady kept at it. We end up exchanging cards and later that day I get an email from her. Of course, her "business" wants me to do business with them. Um, no. Next.

This was a fun one...For those of you that aren't familiar with Stockton should know that there aren't many attractive men living around these parts. I have lived here two years so I think I have the right to judge Stockton. So there, I did it. Well to my surprise a few months ago I walk into the Starbs and see two very nice looking dudes. I of course wasn't going to approach them so I go about my business, get my coffee and them BAM! They both approach me stalker style. It seemed a bit odd to me, but I just went with it. It was almost like they were on a girl stakeout. I heard them out, only because they were cute, and somehow my phone number ended up in one of their hands. I don't even remember their names now. Well, there was a short one and a tall one. The short one asked me out. I said OK and went on my way. So of course when I got to work I Facebook stalked the heck out of them. Long story short here, I never went out with the short one. He made no effort to get together, he expected me to do all the work. Uh no thanks. And in a text ohe blurts out he has a kid like it's no biggie. Thanks, I will pass.

Well since this kid wasn't making a big enough move, his tall friend moved in for the kill. He asked me out but nothing came from any of it. It has been several months since all this happened and I haven't seen either one since. Oh darn. Moving on.

Next up comes some older dudes. First there is one middle-aged man who is always dressed pretty nicely. I am assuming he has a job. He has this little thing we like to call a wedding ring on his left ring finger, so I figure he is pretty harmless. Nope. He strikes up conversation which is fine, I guess. Remember, I don't really want to talk to random people in the morning, but I don't have it in me to be a mega bitch to strangers most of the time. Well on several occasions now he INSISTS on buying my coffee. I think this has happend twice now. It is a nice gesture, I guess, but I don't really want him doing this. It's awkward. What if I am having one of my crazy days and I want a venti drink and 6 pastries and this dude tells the cashier "and whatever she wants." I can't tell her I want all that. Or can I? Maybe I should do that one day and then he won't ever want to buy my stuff again....Hmmm...Oh, and this dude "friended" me on Facebook. No good. Maybe I should friend his wife on Facebook?

And then there was today. Before I tell you about my Starbs adventure today let me back up a little bit. There is the old guy, like grandparent old. He is a nice guy, but weird. Can you be nice and weird at the same time? Well one day he starts to talk to me. About his job or something? I don't really know. This proves how much I don't pay attention. Well, the past few days I have been seeing him again. I really don't want to talk to him, but he stakes me out and approaches me, and I have no way to get away from him until I get my coffee. Even then, he follows me to the half and half table and continutes to talk, and give me his "card". Well today I see him walking to his car as I am pulling into the parking lot. I really hope he doesn't see me, but of course, he does. I was hoping he wouldn't approach me today, but he creeper level reached a new high today. He comes up to me as I am getting out of my car. Dude, don't do that! And then he proceeds to say "we should go to lunch sometime." Oh gah. This is my nightmare. And with my ability to not say no, I say OK. But this OK actually means No way in hell, dude! At this point I think he was waiting for me to give him my card or something, but I quickly tell him I have his card and then I briskly walk in to Starbucks. And then the one barista asks when he and I are going to go to lunch. Two Starbucks lunch offers in one morning. Happy Friday to me!